Hurdles Aren't Insurmountable. Climb on, babes.

I'm typing this on Monday and I have it scheduled for Wednesday. I haven't weighed in for the end of our Diet Bet yet, but I will in the morning.

There are a few reasons for that:

  • I started my period three nights ago, right before the weigh in window began, and I was 1 pound under goal before then...but my weight gets REAL WONKY when I'm AFing so I suspect - know, actually - I will be above the goal weight.
  • Because I want to talk from that place, of both assumption and awareness: even if my weight goal wasn't hit, there were a lot of really great victories along the way...all of which will keep me moving forward instead of giving up.
  • I'm going to update this post with my actual results once I weigh in, so you can see what happens, but I want you to know that number doesn't define me, nor should any number define you.
This Diet Bet rustled up a lot of emotions, limiting beliefs, and realizations for me. For the most part, I ate perfectly. I hit below my goal weight a full week before the end of the bet, so - if I'm looking at this as a competitive person - I should've easily coasted into winning.

However, while I'm competitive, I also know I can get somewhat anal, obsessive and controlling, especially when it comes to my weight, so I wanted to work hard on those issues first. THEY make me harder on myself and more likely to fail, because my standard for myself can be impossibly high.

This weekend my husband and I celebrated our five year anniversary. If I'm honest, up until the weekend I kept telling myself I wouldn't celebrate it because we had to weigh in on Monday, and I didn't want to ruin my loss by drinking or eating anything that might limit or change my loss trajectory.

I was still holding onto this idea of weight loss hinging on making every moment perfect. Somewhere in my head I kept telling myself that choosing a glass of rose or a meal that wasn't low in carbs meant I was giving up on myself when, in actuality, it's about living in the moment.

Do you know why we fail?

Because we see one hurdle as an end point and refuse to look at the big picture. My goal? To get my body back to where I want it, and if I see my failing at this Diet Bet as something much larger than what it is, I'm likely to give up and stop trying altogether.

Meanwhile, if I look at my anniversary celebration as a deserved indulgence - my second of the month - then it's not as debilitating and I can keep moving. Sure, maybe this and my period bloat make me "lose" the competition, but my end goal is NOT to win a's to keep moving forward.

So, I keep going. I keep showing up for myself when I should, and I celebrate when it's time. Today I'm back on track and I'm both physically and mentally lighter, no longer carrying the weight of shame or the burden of judgment along with me.

It is what it is. I am happy about my choices.

The truth is: Joe and I needed a night out together more than I needed to lose another pound this week. I can lose that pound next week, right? If I continue on this path, that pound will be gone. Yes, my weight will have small fluctuations when I indulge (or have a period). Yes, it will take longer to reach my goal.

But who cares? The only limitation I have is self-imposed, and I'm sick and tired of feeling limited by myself and the rules I make for me when I know - on a deep level - that life is far too complicated to be reduced to either winning or failing, losing or gaining.

Do you see what I mean?

Two days of bad doesn't define me more than twenty eight days of good. And if I indulge twice a month (or more or less) but keep moving, the good days will always be more than the bad and then I'm still reaching my goal while living a normal life that doesn't make me feel like I'm restricted.

Will I have a perfect bikini body this summer?


Instead, I'll have a 5-year anniversary date that reminds me my husband is my best friend. And that I want to go on more dates with him, and celebrate things with him, and talk to him about current events and deep thoughts. I want to laugh at the teenager at the next table over for feeling like his parents are a burden for asking about cell phone technology, and giggle when we realize someday we'll be 50+ and struggle technologically.

I enjoyed that Rose flight (who even knew that was a thing?) and a full glass of my favorite after, and then laughing while we killed time in Target.

Letting go of self-imposed guidelines because I have control issues has literally set me free.

I still lost weight, even if it's a pound or two more than I wanted, but what I've gained is so much more important than those extra pounds. I've gained connection, I've gained clarity and balance, and I've let go of the need to control everything or be perfect. Yes, all from a month long weight loss challenge.

It's about perspective, and I'm really good at finding it now. I hope someday to help you find your perspective, too.

None of us are safe from life happening around us, but it's when we learn to be adaptable to it that we succeed. If you see a hurdle, you can't stop, otherwise you're stuck. Instead, you figure out what the best way over or through or around it is, and you keep walking. Maybe it slowed you down, but you still move toward success.

Are you too hard on yourself?
Are you reading this going, "Yeah, I needed this today?"
Does a failure define you in ways you don't even realize, stopping you from further exploring new avenues or different beliefs while still working toward your goal?

If you're stopping because you feel like a failure, you're just proving to yourself you are one. Your stopping is where you fail, the hurdle isn't. Hurdles can be overcome.

Don't get stuck on numbers or successes or grades or job offers or rejections. Don't stop because someone or something else challenges you.

Get off your ass, celebrate what's worthy, and keep moving.

I sure will.

Hurdles aren't insurmountable. Climb on, babes.

Feeling stuck? Consider joining us for our very first Immersion Experience in Scottsdale, Arizona. Tia and I will get you unstuck and moving forward. And you'll meet some of the coolest chicks you didn't know you needed.