Miscarriage helped streamline my relationship with time and money

When the fog started lifting after my miscarriage, I felt an overwhelming urge to re-evaluate how I spent my life. I felt pulled to lean in, hard, and really dissect what made up the moments that I was calling Life.

Was I giving enough credit to the good stuff? 
The things that gave me a sense of purpose. 
The stuff that filled up my cup.

During this time of reflection, it also became glaringly obvious that a lot of my time included a lot of tasks that I believed I "should" do or "was required" to do just because I was a (woman, female, wife, woman in my 30's, etc, you get the idea).

But, let's back up a tad and chat about how I got here.

From age 21 through today, at age 35, I have thrived and failed over and over with my career to mold it into something I am truly proud of. Always learning from my mistakes, always taking away tokens of wisdom from the worst bosses, I narrowed my vision for my career; keeping the end goal in mind.

The goal, for me, is to make the most money for the least amount of effort, because, quite frankly, I don't subscribe to the notion that the amount of money you earn is equal to the amount of hours you put in.



I always believed that there was alternative ways to work SMARTER not LONGER.
Although I most definitely spent my fair share of time "proving my worth" by being the "first one in, last one to leave" simply because THAT is how corporate did it. 
THAT is what my boss did, so in turn, to impress the person that pays me, I followed suit.

It always felt so icky though, as if I were selling out just to get a few more bucks.

As the years passed, I realized I could be more strategic and calculated in the work I was doing.
Niche down.
Find what I'm good at and start honing in on that.
Year after year, my career developed more to my liking.

I stopped spending twelve or more hours in the office.
I stopped relying on a five hour, round-trip commute, to "go where the money is."
I stopped ignoring self care. 

Folks, it got to the point that I wouldn't go to the doctor or the gym because it might overlap with office hours and I felt it was necessary to prove my worth by not bending when schedules were conflicted. #frazzledAF

At the same time, the more free time I had, the more I inevitably took on outside of work.

I was ladder climbing, receiving raises and promotions, changing titles, and yet, I still felt strung out most weeks, never quite making ends meet.

Then I lost my son and I got mad.

Mad at the time wasted because I felt obligated to take on everything.
Mad because everything I took on didn't make me feel proud, and yet, I kept doing it.
Mad because, while I was making more money from when I started, I wasn't utilizing it correctly in my life.

If I could just allow myself to let go of the reigns regarding my fear with giving away my hard-earned money and time, I realized I could let in help when needed.

The idea that I could re-invest my hard earned dollars back into me, to carve out more space for what brings me joy; to help with my physical and mental wellness was a brand new, amazing concept.

I felt unstoppable.

Some of the first things I gave up?

Toiletry and grocery shopping.
Guys, I cannot think of anything worse to do with my time. I HATE shopping. Hate it with a passion.
But, we have to eat and wipe our asses, right?

I outsourced these needs and regained HOURS of my life spent trudging through stores and check-out lines, lugging in bag after bag of groceries, and furiously packing everything away.

I also invested in coaching practices, audio-books, and podcasts that aligned with my morning commute, or mid-day walks, where I could step away from the hustle and re-focus.

What was once a blur of a work-day became structured, productive blocks of time with uplifting and motivating segments in between.

Friends, we live in an amazing era.
One that includes wonderful options like food and grocery delivery, wellness and life coaches, home maintenance and more that, for SO long, I thought were only for the wealthy.

We are worthy of utilizing our time and income to help take the burden off.
We are worthy of investing in help.
We are worthy of streamlining our life so we feel less rushed, less stretched-thin, less scatter-brained.

I learned through loss, that time is fleeting, and our purpose is to make our impact in the world in the best way we can. For me, that meant eliminating some of the bullshit so I could re-focus my attention on the things that mattered most to me.

I faced my fears with time and money and it changed my life.